I was skimming through my journal today and came across this entry I made last June. I thought I might as well put it here...I still remember how scared and sick I felt after this dream.

Saturday, 6-12-10

Last night I had a dream that was absolutely terrifying. It was the end of the world, catastrophes were happening, and me and my family needed to leave our home immediately. It deeply depressed me that a life I had built would be left behind to be obliterated in destruction. All the things I had worked so hard for: mementos, memories, photographs, records of what I did and who I was. I knew there was no time but I grabbed a suitcase and hurriedly shoved things in from left and right. Everything I saw was something I wanted, something I had to keep. It was hard to make decisions and soon I couldn't think because I was so dizzy. My family rushed me to the car and I threw my things in the back - I had packed more than the other five combined. We jumped in and raced off, for danger was right at our heels.
It was the end of the world - the end of the world! Nothing would be the same. I started reviewing in my mind the things I had grabbed, and suddenly I realized - I had forgotten my Bible. It was only the single most important thing to own in the end times and I, in my haste to preserve the memory of my own life, had left it behind. I felt absolutely sick realizing my mistake, for it truly proved where my priorities were. How could I have been so selfish - so foolish? How would God forgive me then?


This was just interesting to me because especially recently I have been realizing that my priorities are not where they need to be. I've been letting myself get distracted by just a whirlwind of life and have not been putting God first before everything. This is not ok.

Dangerous Game

Roll the dice

And here we play

At this table -

A dangerous game.

The odds are only

In your favor,

At any moment I could lose.

I passed quietly

Behind your chair,

And then you turned

And saw me there.

You grabbed me quickly

And with a sultry smile

Placed in my fist

The cursed die.

I should have cast them

To the ground,

Should have ignored

Your wink and grin.

Your touch should have never

Caused blood to rush,

Coloring cheeks

With a rosy blush.

But this game I play

As your invitation convinced

Me - I was blind

To your few cheap tricks.

Rolling and tossing,

I continue this bet,

But my name is

Amateur,

And I lose all I get.

Please tell me to quit,

Shoo me away,

I've had enough of casinos,

Enough of cards,

I'm done with suits and cigarettes.

Tell me,

For I haven't believed yet.

~Heidi Joens

"No sooner did I see that his attention was riveted on them, and that I might gaze without being observed, than my eyes were drawn involuntarily to his face; I could not keep their lids under control; they would rise, and the irids would fix on him. I looked, and had an acute pleasure in looking - a precious, yet poignant pleasure; pure gold, with a steely point of agony; a pleasure like what the thirst-perishing man might feel who knows the well to which he has crept is poisoned, yet stoops and drinks divine draughts nevertheless."

Well put, Charlotte Bronte, well put.