"You're not a bad kid"

"I told you this would happen Ms. Joens. I got one..."

This was the passing comment given to me by a former student just before dismissal today.  My own class was packing up, grabbing their backpacks, and I happened to be standing in the hallway as the boy trudged on by, defiance in his voice.

"What did you get?" I questioned, confused.

"A referral," he responded, flashing a glimpse of an envelope without looking in my direction and moving on down the hallway.

There were only a few minutes left before the bell was to ring, my class had a lot to pick up, and there was so much commotion in the hallway by other 2nd grade classes it was easy to get lost in it all.  This comment, however, stopped me and I knew I needed to address it.

This was the same boy whose mom had walked out on him last year.  We went through a lot, and I mean a LOT (just read my previous post) getting through that season of his life.  I had already cried so much for him, and my fear was that he would start to get on the wrong path.  I could feel him testing me last year and could catch a glimpse of what his future might be if he grew more defiant, less trusting of adults, and ultimately a teacher's nightmare.  His little life is so impressionable right now, and it killed me to see him accepting his fate of ending up in the office as if it was just a matter of time.

I called his name and beckoned him back.  He turned, shoulders shrugged, lip jutted out and giving off an impression of callousness.  This boy, who I had to retain due to his insufficient progress last year.  Who could blame him for not putting school as a priority?  He was just down the hall from me now, but I rarely got to engage with him.  Yet I know him.  I know him very well.  And what happened in the next few moments is powerful in reflection to really see just how much of an impact you can have on someone's life.

He came up to me, still not directing eye contact, and I asked him to tell me what happened.  He told me what he had said, which involved making a very serious threat to another student, and I asked for more information on the situation.  He confided what had sparked the incident, and I heard him out.  I then asked him to come closer and wrapped my arm around him, bending down to talk directly to him.  I told him I was sorry to hear that had happened and that he should be careful with his words.  I hugged him and challenged him to do better, "because you're a good kid.  Don't think you're a bad kid.  I know you, you're my Alex, and you're not a bad kid.  You hear me?"  He nodded, eyes glistening a bit, and then went on his way.

I later found out from his teacher that he came into her room bawling.  She assumed it was because of the referral, but I knew he wasn't crying from getting in trouble.  It had to have been me who caused him to cry.  I had no idea that he got so emotional just moments after our interaction - he was initially so cold.  I could have only hoped that my words hit home, and thank God they did something.  It is incredible to witness how powerful and influential God has ordained human relationships to be, and we each must choose to use that power for good or harm.  I cannot forget what position my job puts me in with these kids, and I wouldn't trade moments like this for the world!!